People I've missed

=) [For some reason this blog has dwelled so much on my struggle as a teacher and my reflections from my unit and 3rdsunreco.]

Now, I go back to the past - the people who have been part of my life, part of who I've become, the people I've been trying hard not to miss

Grabe, it's just now that I feel how much I've really missed them.

First stop: The first school I taught at [hehe I don't want to write it here for fear of bieng exposed to more people =p] with my former co-teachers

Last Friday I went to Jinky's house for her party. I saw former co-teachers and I was surprised at how much I've missed them. I feel like I've changed so much and I can't help but to see things differently. But at the same time, I can see that I have been influenced and I have grown through my experience there. I miss how I used to be part of them, talking about the same things, worrying and laughing about the little things. Listening to them share funny stories about their students , made me think about my former students.

Kamusta na kaya sila? =) Hay, hehe mga binata na siguro. ;p I just pray that they're all doing well.

I also missed the camaraderie of the teachers there. I went to the wake of the child of my former co-teacher, Ms.Chona. I remember how she fondly shares stories about her child, Sebbie. Now, he's in heaven. I can just imagine how painful it is for a mother to lose her child. Bilib nga ako sa lakas at tatag ng loob ni Ms.Chona. She was saying how she's trying to say it was Sebbie's time already, "pahiram" lang ng Diyos so that it will be easier for them to accept.

Grabe, it makes you appreciate life more. You never know when it's your time or your loved one's time for that matter so make the most of what you have.

Second stop: Girl talk =p I miss my girl buds. I went out with Nikki last Saturday. We watched "The Prestige" (which I have to say is a worthwhile movie! coolness, many twists in the story + the actors are hot ;p) and we had milk tea [hehe no dough so I told her if we could just hang out at Hap Chang beside Starbucks..hehe I love their milk tea and it's just 40bucks! haha what you learn from being broke ;p].

I enjoyed our conversation. =) For some reason we're on the same wavelength in terms of where we are in our life right now. We may have totally different jobs, since she's in the corporate world but we have the same basic concerns. I liked what she said about being in your "normal best" now and having "non-negotiables" for the One. hehe although I feel a bit of pressure to have a boyfriend [since my time is slowly ticking...uh..polycystic ovaries talking here] haha I know the importance of not settling just for anyone I'm not at peace with. I firmly believe things WILL fall into place when the time comes. Patience is a virtue and I need to focus on my career right now. ;p hehe soo serious!

Third stop: My close friends in college
Namiss ko na talaga yun mga yun! =p Haha I had a blast chatting with Teej, Jay and Rheza last Mon. Even if I try to avoid feeling it, I realized I miss them badly. [Ang hirap lang kasi - hay..attachments...our topic in PGTB last Fri] It's hard to let go of people you've grown to love and be accustomed to be with because you know eventually you have to, to be able to grow and to let that person grow. I know it's something we all must do. After college, we are all given the big task of discovering ourselves and what we want to do with our lives. Most of the time, it entails venturing into things unfamiliar and separating ways. It is painful, like being stretched and pulled in opposite directions or having your tooth removed. But, coming back and meeting up again, I feel happy and I am at peace seeing how we've all grown and learned so much. I'm glad that we still have that childlike affection and bond among us. Nakakatawa. Nakakatuwa. It makes me smile and look forward to our next 'gathering.' Haha [eto nanaman ako...nagfefeeling knights of the round table of some sort, that each one of us has a different mission but one common vision so para 'cool' I like the term gathering haha labo! =p]

Basta bottom line ko: Bitin! ;) I still want to hang out with old friends.
Kaya dapat, next time sulitin ko na lalo. =p I'll hug them real tight and take pictures, pictures, pictures! hehehe dapat di na ako majahe magpicture. Carpe diem!

I also miss Nanay and Daddy.
Love talaga. It's painful to lose someone, say goodbye to a loved one but sometimes we take them for granted if they're always around.
I'm grateful that our whole family is here.
I'm looking forward to meeting up Louie Pox, my little bro that's a hottie already! haha

Community =)

=)

Raqs, Paano mo ba nakakaya? Paano mo nagagawa?
Paano ka nananatiling payapa?

My secret...PGTB.
=)

Thank you Lord for bringing this community in my life.
Damang-dama ko ang Pagmamahal at Nakakaginhawa mong Presensya sa kanila.
Salamat.

Posible!

My blog's been bugging me for an update (well, in my mind that is.) =p

I've had quite insightful realizations recently.
Right now, I can say, I'm more steady.
But, that does not mean I'm off from everything.

Part of me is too tired to write all my insights,
but part of me knows it's helpful to do so..before my insights disappear.
It's important to practice self awareness and self-discipline
and recently I've been a bit relaxed since the Grade 4 Portfolio Night - "the Big event"
is finished and sembreak is looming around the corner. Eek. Temptation!

Before I go on babbling and babbling, allow me to share an insight I got from
3rdSunReco last Sunday. The gospel was inspiring. It was about the rich man entering God's kingdom. What struck we was the line. It is impossible...But for God, everything is possible.
I realized at times, we might think it's impossible to accomplish big things, but it's important to know that with God's help it can happen.

The Gr.4 Portfolio night's theme is also: Posible - From seeing heroes of different regions in the Philippines to seeing myself as a hero. The Gr.4 students sang the song "Posible" at the end.

I still have insights to share but I'm quite sleepy already.
I will type again soon.

Basta, natutuwa ako. =)

Emotional Maturity

There is peace in accepting the truth in myself.

I still like him. I admire how he is so passionate about Gawad Kalinga - something I believe strongly about. Ang kulit..pinagtatagpo talaga kami ng mga sitwasyon. [Either that or for some reason, I always find myself in things that has a connection to him - Xavier, CLC, and now GK.]

Although, it's so tempting to dwell on my emotions. I realized it's not healthy. I need to grow up and mature. I need to be patient. Whether it is him or not, I know my path to rediscovering myself is molding me to be the person I need to become for the one I'm meant to be with.

There is a lot of goodness in the World. Natutuwa ako.
Ang galing. =)

Sabi nga sa GK: 1MB --> Isang milyong bayani!

Pinagmamalaki ko na Pilipino ako!

Marami pa kailangan gawin para buuin ulit natin ang wasak nating mundo pero may pag-asa sa bawat tao, sa tunay na pagmamahal at pagbibigayan.
[Hehe naisip ko lang...diba pag-IBIG is love, tapos IBIGay...I think ang IBIG is desire..the desire to give, tapos IBIG sabihin, what one really desires to say..natuwa lang ako sa desire...innermost desire dahil naniniwala ako lahat tayo tunay na iniibig ang kapayapaan]

I read in the 7 habits from
dependence --> independence (emotional maturity) --> to interdependence (the Power of WE)

Now, I'm still in the path to emotional independence and I'm looking forward to be ready for interdependence.

Retracing my steps

Lord, Grant me the grace to have genuine humility and courageous faith.

I haven't written for quite a while now. [Well, except for my personal journal for my consciousness examen notes.] But, I've been going through a self introspection of what has happened the past few years, what am I going through and who am I now.

It's kind of heavy so I will reserve another time to write about it.

Topic for tonight with PGTB: Ecumenism
- Naisip ko talaga yun dating nangyari sa akin. I recall an incident with a good friend who suddenly claimed he didn't believe in God but he was doing good deeds and it wasn't a good incident. But, I learned something from it. Naisip ko, magkaka-iba tayo lahat at wala ako sa lugar para maghusga sa kanya. Iba't ibang paraan ang ginagamit ng Diyos para kausapin ang bawat isa sa atin. Kahit na sabihin niya na di siya naniniwala, I believe that God has a way of reaching out to him. I do not have to prove anything.

Anyways, many more updates but too tired and full of thoughts to write it down so I'll just give a summary: I'm finishing this schoolyear. There will be a new teacher to take half my load. I'm learning to be more firm but at the same time I need to take things lightly.

I liked what my friend said about choosing to be happy, happy in pain, happy in life.
Ateneo is really a second home to me. I miss walking along trees, with a light wind at night going home from school.

I want to jog!

Anyways, I will sleep. =)

Thank you Lord for all the learnings and for the growth I've experienced.

GK Expo this week!

Sakto

Matthew 11:28-30

Jesus said, "Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

I gave my resignation letter last Monday - left it ont the desk of the directress.
Yesterday, she came to school in the afternoon.
Today, I will talk to her.

Lord, I am still very anxious about Portfolio Night and all the stuff I need to do in between - 5 quarterly tests! checking for grades, scripts for the play and the portfolio night itself. Sana wala na Literacy week celebration para di na dagdag sa stress. Lord, pls. see me through this. Konting tiis na lang. Konting tulak na lang, Raquel puwede ka na magpahinga..huminga.