Blogging and recollections

have so many thoughts, insights, emotions I've scattered throughtout the World Wide Web. Let's see...I use blogspot, livejournal, multiply and friendster. But, I realized I feel this need to integrate and recollect everything. What am I really thinking? What are my concerns right now? How have I changed?

I know I've experienced so many changes after college.
It's amusing to see it even in my blog entries.

My naive, neneng days in college can be seen in my blurty blog. After which, my struggle and insights as a fresh grad is in my "lets rock the world" blog. I have "a warrior of the light" blog right now for my spiritual struggles and encounters.

Now, I find myself wanting to start a new blog. Something different. I still have yet to discern.

It's almost the end of the year and I feel like I'm continuously changing and rediscovering who I am and I'm meant to be.

How fitting that today is the Feast of Christ the King. This marks the end of the year for the Church. If I was my old self, I wouldn't bother to celebrate or reflect on it. But, with the contemplations of St. Ignatius it becomes more meaningful. Christ's kingdom is not of this earth. The worldly kingdom is put in contrast with His kingdom.

Coming from recollection today, I've gained so many insights once again. I liked what Jackie said about struggles. Yes, it's inevitable that we all continuosly struggle. It does not stop or end after we've overcome a struggle. Most of the time, if not always, it even gets harder as your grow up. However, she brought out the point of seeing the beauty of these struggles, of transcending yourself. At the end of the day, it should not be about what you want but it's about praying and listening to what He wants.



Sometimes, I have this fear of being preachy or too religious because of how I've been exposed to Ignatian spirituality and how it has changed me. So I keep quiet instead and I try my best to listen. I have discovered that in reality, we all experience this void and emptiness that we all try to fill. We may have different experiences- from teaching, working in the Corporate World, law school,to med school and even heartbreaks -but underlying this is the common urge to find meaning in our lives.

At the end of the day, it all boils down to honesty and humility. I know I'm still a work in progress. I have yet to discover what I'm meant to be. I'm learning to be more open. I'm at peace knowing He has a big plan for me.