resignation
I've been troubled and burdened for the longest time.
I know I still have a lot to learn in being an effective teacher.
I've conditioned my mind to think that it's a skill that can be learned.
Yes, it is true but at the same time I realized I haven't been listening well to myself nor to what my body is saying to me. Maybe, teaching is not for me NOW.
No wonder, my kids keep on telling me I don't listen to them. How could I listen to them properly when I can't even listen to my inner self?
My family is very concerned with my health. So far, I think I've lost 10 pounds from last year. I tried weighing myself and I'm 105 lbs, compared to 115lbs. last year. Like what I've mentioned - the polycystic nature of my ovaries is in a wreck, my throat is normally sore and I usually feel this heaviness on my chest. I'm emotionally and physically tired but I am stubborn.
I needed for someone outside of my family, someone I trusted to tell me honestly about it. I went to Loyola house last night to talk to Fr.Dan Mcnamarra. He told me that I have to take care of myself. I told him how I thought it could be the angel of darkness discouraging me from teaching but he said it could be the opposite - that the angel of darkness is working on my stubborness and pride. Why don't I want to resign anyway? Is it really because of the kids? I realized, me being their teacher isn't helping much and like what Tito Tom said, I can't give what I don't have and if I can't take care of myself properly, how can I take care of my students properly?
I'm reading the 7 habits again - this time I'm enjoying each page. I like the part where it asks us to assess our deep-seated motives on the things we do. It talks about principles as well. Hay, humility. I pray for humility. I pray for strength. I'll do my best to fix everything first then I'll file my resignation. As difficult as it may be, I have to do this - if not for myself and my pride, I'll do it for my family, friends and my life.
(Syempre Fr.Dan asked me if I had a boyfriend. He said that maybe he'll tell me that too and that I would listen. I thought of one guy friend of mine but he's not encouraging me to resign, more of discern. Then I remembered him -_- again! Weird. I just recalled how I would vent out stuff to him and he would give his opinion and it would really matter to me. I'm clueless if he's moved on or not but I'm not expecting. That's just how I feel now. At least I don't regret anything. He knows everything. Nakakamiss lang magkaroon ng ganung lakas galing sa kanya. Lord, Kayo na Bahala.)
I know I still have a lot to learn in being an effective teacher.
I've conditioned my mind to think that it's a skill that can be learned.
Yes, it is true but at the same time I realized I haven't been listening well to myself nor to what my body is saying to me. Maybe, teaching is not for me NOW.
No wonder, my kids keep on telling me I don't listen to them. How could I listen to them properly when I can't even listen to my inner self?
My family is very concerned with my health. So far, I think I've lost 10 pounds from last year. I tried weighing myself and I'm 105 lbs, compared to 115lbs. last year. Like what I've mentioned - the polycystic nature of my ovaries is in a wreck, my throat is normally sore and I usually feel this heaviness on my chest. I'm emotionally and physically tired but I am stubborn.
I needed for someone outside of my family, someone I trusted to tell me honestly about it. I went to Loyola house last night to talk to Fr.Dan Mcnamarra. He told me that I have to take care of myself. I told him how I thought it could be the angel of darkness discouraging me from teaching but he said it could be the opposite - that the angel of darkness is working on my stubborness and pride. Why don't I want to resign anyway? Is it really because of the kids? I realized, me being their teacher isn't helping much and like what Tito Tom said, I can't give what I don't have and if I can't take care of myself properly, how can I take care of my students properly?
I'm reading the 7 habits again - this time I'm enjoying each page. I like the part where it asks us to assess our deep-seated motives on the things we do. It talks about principles as well. Hay, humility. I pray for humility. I pray for strength. I'll do my best to fix everything first then I'll file my resignation. As difficult as it may be, I have to do this - if not for myself and my pride, I'll do it for my family, friends and my life.
(Syempre Fr.Dan asked me if I had a boyfriend. He said that maybe he'll tell me that too and that I would listen. I thought of one guy friend of mine but he's not encouraging me to resign, more of discern. Then I remembered him -_- again! Weird. I just recalled how I would vent out stuff to him and he would give his opinion and it would really matter to me. I'm clueless if he's moved on or not but I'm not expecting. That's just how I feel now. At least I don't regret anything. He knows everything. Nakakamiss lang magkaroon ng ganung lakas galing sa kanya. Lord, Kayo na Bahala.)
posted by flavoredwater at 1:43 PM
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