Conversation about Polycycstic Ovaries
Right now, I'm still quite anxious with work but I think I'm more relaxed.
The Examen and planning everyday helps me keep grounded and focused.
I still have loads to do but I'm doing it one thing at a time.
I'm trying to give myself a break while still continuing with work.
Anyways, what's been bothering me besides work is my reproductive health.
Haha I feel so awkward sharing it (as guys may be reading this) but I just feel
like writing about it. (just to update my girl friends and for the sake of sharing
my thoughts.) Naman kasi..haha ikaw kaya encourage to marry early because I might have a harder time getting pregnant when I'm older! Eek! Scary talaga. You see I discovered, after visitng my gynecologist that I have polycycstic ovaries. This is a normal ovary type that posts some concerns in the future. I have the possibility of having a hard time getting pregnant, and if I do, there's a possibility I can give birth to twins! =p I like how my doctor really explained what's happening in my body. Every month, only one follicle should get developed into an egg to be released by the ovary which leads to menstruation. The problem with mine is, instead of estrogen focusing on just one follicle to ripen, the estrogen seems to spread throughout the other follicles so it's like I'm growing more than one follicle so it takes a longer time for one to become ripe enough to be released as an egg. (aaahh... so that's how it works ;) )
Anyways, this made me think of prospects (ehehe, weird..very weird I know) for the future. Haha so I'm reconsidering my goals/plans. Hehe my target goal is to find the guy/have a serious relationship by 27. Now, I'm rethinking. I know I should be more open because I've been very uptight but at the same time I don't want to be desperate. I was just bothered by what Rheza told me. That, I should take this seriously, what the gynecologist said. She has a point, in a sense that I know I might regret not having a child when I'm quite already but at the same time I believe that things will eventually fall into place. I shouldn't worry about it. (Actually, nabobother nga ako kasi parang yun iba nagwoworry sa akin, pero ako hindi..as in to the point that I'm already wondering myself, should I worry?)
Well, I'm not. I'm just bothered with him. I realized I still like him. After all, he's the only guy that I came close to having a relationship with. But at the same time, I'm confused. I remember him saying how he liked the song "Ordinary People" by John Legends. I keep on listening to that, and it makes sense. I'm just confused with our quick chats. I'm not sure if he still likes me. I don't know if he's just not making any moves because he's still not over the past issues we've had. He really makes me smile but I don't seem to dream about him. Haha, I know it might be shallow but I seem to find out how much a guy matters to me if I dream about him. I'm honestly lost with my relationship with him. He still has moratorium , up until he ends his service so he's not supposed to have any romantic relationship until next year. =p I don't know if it's a good or bad thing. All I know is I have to sort things out with myself first before I can move on or pursue anything. Meanwhile, I'm thinking should I be open to other guys?
Hehe I think my heart is like diesel, it needs warming up but once it's warmed but it can work well. =p All I know is, I will not get into something I know I would just be wasting my time on but once I've decided on something, papanindigan ko talaga.
Who could You be? Lord, pls. give me a sign.
The Examen and planning everyday helps me keep grounded and focused.
I still have loads to do but I'm doing it one thing at a time.
I'm trying to give myself a break while still continuing with work.
Anyways, what's been bothering me besides work is my reproductive health.
Haha I feel so awkward sharing it (as guys may be reading this) but I just feel
like writing about it. (just to update my girl friends and for the sake of sharing
my thoughts.) Naman kasi..haha ikaw kaya encourage to marry early because I might have a harder time getting pregnant when I'm older! Eek! Scary talaga. You see I discovered, after visitng my gynecologist that I have polycycstic ovaries. This is a normal ovary type that posts some concerns in the future. I have the possibility of having a hard time getting pregnant, and if I do, there's a possibility I can give birth to twins! =p I like how my doctor really explained what's happening in my body. Every month, only one follicle should get developed into an egg to be released by the ovary which leads to menstruation. The problem with mine is, instead of estrogen focusing on just one follicle to ripen, the estrogen seems to spread throughout the other follicles so it's like I'm growing more than one follicle so it takes a longer time for one to become ripe enough to be released as an egg. (aaahh... so that's how it works ;) )
Anyways, this made me think of prospects (ehehe, weird..very weird I know) for the future. Haha so I'm reconsidering my goals/plans. Hehe my target goal is to find the guy/have a serious relationship by 27. Now, I'm rethinking. I know I should be more open because I've been very uptight but at the same time I don't want to be desperate. I was just bothered by what Rheza told me. That, I should take this seriously, what the gynecologist said. She has a point, in a sense that I know I might regret not having a child when I'm quite already but at the same time I believe that things will eventually fall into place. I shouldn't worry about it. (Actually, nabobother nga ako kasi parang yun iba nagwoworry sa akin, pero ako hindi..as in to the point that I'm already wondering myself, should I worry?)
Well, I'm not. I'm just bothered with him. I realized I still like him. After all, he's the only guy that I came close to having a relationship with. But at the same time, I'm confused. I remember him saying how he liked the song "Ordinary People" by John Legends. I keep on listening to that, and it makes sense. I'm just confused with our quick chats. I'm not sure if he still likes me. I don't know if he's just not making any moves because he's still not over the past issues we've had. He really makes me smile but I don't seem to dream about him. Haha, I know it might be shallow but I seem to find out how much a guy matters to me if I dream about him. I'm honestly lost with my relationship with him. He still has moratorium , up until he ends his service so he's not supposed to have any romantic relationship until next year. =p I don't know if it's a good or bad thing. All I know is I have to sort things out with myself first before I can move on or pursue anything. Meanwhile, I'm thinking should I be open to other guys?
Hehe I think my heart is like diesel, it needs warming up but once it's warmed but it can work well. =p All I know is, I will not get into something I know I would just be wasting my time on but once I've decided on something, papanindigan ko talaga.
Who could You be? Lord, pls. give me a sign.
posted by flavoredwater at 7:18 PM
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