Seeking and Finding

I haven't organized my thoughts yet but I want to write about these past few days of thinking, feeling and talking.

Hindi ko alam kung magtatampo ako sa Kanya o hindi, kung nagtatampo ba ako o galit.
I haven't prayed much (except for the PS group I attended as well as the 1st Fri reco at Gonzaga.)
I haven't conversed with Him much about this.
I don't know what to say.
Hay, He knows I'm stubborn and I usually follow what I want
without really thinking. Basta kakayanin ko basta naisipan ko gusto ko -which is actually a bit naive for me. It's not about just "surviving."

I always find my strength from people.
This time around I did, once again.
=) I'm grateful for these graces I have.
It's humbling to actually admit that you need help.
Right when I'm about to fall, I open my eyes and appreciate the sky.


I would like to take some points I got from PS & Reco.

Sakto talaga. I couldn't help but feel tears gush across my cheeks when I read this:

Seeking and Finding by Joyce Rupp
I search for God,
elusive, hidden God,
I long to dwell
in the heart of Mystery.

I search for my true self
more of who I already am,
knowing there's so much
yet to be discovered.

I search for love,
the unconditional love
that enfolds me
and asks to be shared.

I search for vision
in the shadows of my soul,
impatiently awaiting
the moment of lighting.

I search for a quiet heart
amid life's harried schedule;
my soul cries out,
yearning for solitude.

I search for Home,
always for Home
unaware, of course,
that I am already there. =)

Right when I have learned to adjust and (well, I am struggling but still, I didn't exert effort to think more, to discern more of the what could be), I am shaken.

"When you search for me, you will find me;
when you search wholeheartedly for me,
I shall let you find me." -Jer 29:13

What's my plan? I'm still not sure.

I find delicious ambiguity in the face of humility.

But, part of me is still haunted by the recent past.
I pray for forgiveness within myself and healing for my students.