tampo/selos, losing awareness

Hay. tsk. Some of my students are starting to 'hate' me. Nagtatampo sila sobra. Hay. I know they look up to me but my girls just feel jealous because [I didn't know] that I was paying too much attention to the new student Sophia and I was ignoring them. Ayoko kasi ang hindi nagraraise ng hand. Eh ganun yun iba kong girls but they're very emotional. Haha I can't believe I'm actually saying all the details here.

I've been having loaded dreams recently but I can't remember them.altho last night I remembered something about it. Nanay was there. She was just quiet but she was there. I dreamt we were in one room just like before and it felt reassuring just to see her and be with her. It's weird.

I've been quite distracted lately with all the expectations that are building up because I realized what people say about things may be affecting me. For example, one teacher said how our students are spoiled brats. After we talked about it, I've noticed how my students started showing how spoiled they are when in fact, I thought at the start they were very respectful. I actually saw that also. I realized the power of being aware of one's perception and one's action and how it affects people. It's so tricky but I believe I can become a better person by allowing myself to grow and learn from these experiences. I just pray and hope I'll have more self-discipline so I can maximize my time.

Anyways, I have to work already and prepare for class before I leave home.Hay. stress. Good thing it's a friday already - time to reenergize myself and plan well.

PODS today. ack. I still have no activity. I'll just follow the manual I got.
Okay, I'm talking nonsense already since only I can understand this.

Wala na nga talaga ako time para mag-update sa close friends kaya I thought of just writing here.

I was asking my student this: Can you trust me on this - that I don't have favorites?
She said: I'm not that sure because we can't see it.
Ah... it's not just about words but I have to show it in my actions. Kahit saan namang
relationship ganun din dapat. What I appreciate is them talking to me about it.
Alam ko nagtatampo lang talaga sila sobra kasi they like me. Misunderstanding lang talaga.
Ang cute. haha sana lang I can say this after today.