it's been quite a while

For the longest time [well that's just how I feel] , I've tried to avoid writing my thoughts and how I really feel. I always hesitate for fear of being exposed to the public. Labo. I read my friends' blog which have all their thoughts but I don't feel like sharing all my thoughts. I suppose it's because I don't want people to see my weakness - that deep down inside I also get hurt. Even if I'm usually bubbly or smiley or optimistic, I also struggle with myself.

I'm changing right before my eyes. I don't know how my old friends will take it. I appreciate a different kind of conversation. It's weird how I feel empty in "blah-conversations" [hehe Ow's term.] I appreciate honest conversations.

Basta, haha. Natuwa naman ako nung kinausap ko siya, which was like a week a go. I think we're okay as friends right now but I find it amusing how our conversation shifts from being serious to finding myself smiling or laughing because of his side comments. Hehe siguro weakness ko talaga or at least you can get on my soft side if you make me laugh.

On the other hand, I realized I've also missed the closeness I had with old friends. Magka-iba na kami and I can feel a gap although I am still open. I just realized I shouldn't just close myself or expect so much from them with regard to being constantly there. Hay, ang hirap kasi. When everything's changing, I appreciate the friendships that stay strong. Natutuwa rin ako sa amin ni Ow. Even if we both are changing, I can still tell her anything. That's what I'm looking for right now. [It's just like I'm quoting Cha on this]

Hmm...Companionship. Who is a companion anyway? Haha hmm is he a life partner?
A friend? What does it mean?

I like the book that we have started using in our PGTB unit mtgs. It's entitled "Praying with the First Companions."

This week, we read Jn12:34 -35 - "Love one another"
I like the song we listened to. It's about friendship in Filipino. It's by Noel Cabangon.
The song goes on saying how if you need someone to talk to, to cry to or comfort you, I'm just here my friend.

I'm grateful for the richness of our sharing about love and friendship.
I started the sharing by telling them about the love languages, which I got from our team building in MI. There's this test we took in MI to gauge what kind of love language we use [There are actually 5 - words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts, physical touch.] One of the things that hit me was when T. Joy said that the purpose of this was not to tell other people what your love language is so that they could understand you but rather, so that you can know their love languages and understand them. Some of my unitmates started imagining scearious and asking questions. How would you know another person's love language without them taking the test? One goes on saying how this helps us understand what we can give to another person. At the same time, with this in mind, it's really a challenge for us to go beyond ourselves. Even if we're not a touchy person or a person who easily says words of affirmation, we are challenged to try those things if it will help make other people feel loved.

Then, Joy shares another insight she got from the reading. A scene that always comes to her with the reading is Jesus' washing of the feet of the disciples. He actually says 'love one another' in this scene of the last supper where he washes his disciples feet. [I'm sorry to cut this short but I was distracted. Hehe there's this website for the love languages. It's quite interesting. I'll continue this after a while. Medyo mahaba na kasi sinulat ko and I feel like reading some stuff this time. I'm excited to learn so much so I can teach more.

"Love, love when it comes my way...everything's gonna be okay." ;)